Fan Fiction Rots Your Brain!
by virtgrad
Summary: The Teen Titans decide to write their own fanfic about each other. They draw names to see who they’ll be writing about.Beast Boy draws Raven’s name and chaos ensues in earnest! (Parings: Who knows what these kids will come up with)
1. Default Chapter

**Fan Fiction Rots Your Brain!**

**The Teen Titans decide to write their own fanfic about each other. They draw names to see who they'll be writing about. Beast Boy draws Raven's name and chaos ensues in earnest! (Parings: Who knows what these kids will come up with!)**

It was Robin's favorite part of the day; combat training! He walked into the main room to get the others.

"Okay, Titans, time for…Wha?"

The others were crowded around the monitor.

"What are you all looking at?" Robin asked.

"Fan fiction!" Exclaimed Beast Boy. "Check it out! There's this website where our fans upload stories about us. There're close to 8000 of 'em! We're catching up to X-Men Unlimited!"

"That's X-Men Evolution," corrected Raven dryly. "And they still have over 9000 entries."

"I'm surprised that you're not watching TV or playing videogames, Beast Boy." Said Robin.

"Raven keeps telling me that TV rots my brain. I decided to read fan fiction. There's this cool story where Mumbo turns us into little kids. There's another one that's a Malchior/Rorek/Raven love triangle. Malchior and Rorek are two halves of the same dragon and are competing for Raven's affections!"

Raven blushed. She really liked that story.

"There are tons of pairings, too! Rob/Star, Rob/Rae, Cy/Jink. Cy/Bee, Cy/Soap opera chick. My favorite is BB/Rae. They've got some weird ones too. How about Slade/Rae or Cy/Gizmo."

"Aw crap, Man!" Cyborg slapped his forehead. "You could have kept that one to yourself!"

Beast Boy continued. "We have an interesting fandom. There's this one guy on here who calls himself **_vinne the geek_**. He's 46! DUDE! And this _**virtgrad** _person is a scientist! She writes these Raven-centered stories with freakishly long chapters!"

Starfire giggled and turned around. "It is truly entertaining, Robin. We should try writing some."

"I don't think so, Starfire," Raven shook her head.

"Actually, Raven, I think it's a great idea." Said Robin.

"WHAT!" Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven were flabbergasted.

"Are you serious, man?" Cyborg rubbed his head.

"Completely. I think that it would be a good exercise. And it'll be a nice change of pace. Why don't we draw names? Whosever name you pick, that person will be the focus of your story."

"Cool!" Shouted Beast Boy.

Beast Boy looked in the drawers to get a sandwich bag. He tore of pieces of paper and wrote everyone's names on them.

"Alright," he said as he dropped the pieces into the bag and shook it up. "No second chances. If you pick your own name, pick another and put yours back. You first, Raven."

Raven sighed and reached into the bag. She looked at the name for a long time. The others waited.

"Well?" Asked Beast Boy.

"I got Starfire," she said.

"Wonderful, Raven! I cannot wait to see your story. Me next!"

Starfire reached into the bag.

"I have obtained Cyborg!"

"I'll go next," said Beast Boy as he fumbled around in the bag. _Come on, Come on, Come on!_

Beast Boy closed his eyes then slowly opened an eyelid.

"YES! I got Raven!"

"Alright! My turn!" Cyborg excitedly fumbled in the bag. "I've got…Robin." Cyborg's face fell and his excitement faded.

"That leaves me with Beast Boy," Robin folded his arms._ Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. _He thought.

"Alright Titans. You have your assignments." Said Robin.

"Wait! What genre are we supposed to choose?" Asked Starfire.

"Any you want," said Beast Boy. "There's general, romance, sci-fi, action/adventure, and more! You can even have a secondary genre."

"Now remember. Be courteous to your teammates. Don't go higher than a PG rating and keep it under 1000 words," Robin warned.

"Yes, mother," smirked Cyborg.

"This is going to be so cool!" Squealed Beast Boy. "I think I'll make mine a Horror/Romance with a Terra/Raven/Beast Boy love triangle!"

Raven's body resonated with dark energy and her eyes were glowing white.

"Oooor not," Beast Boy sulked.

"Okay, let's write! But before we do," said Robin, "we still have three hours of combat training."

The other Titans groaned as they begrudgingly followed Robin to the training room.

**Next up! I need to give these guys pen names. Any suggestions? Here's a run down of what their stories will be like:**

**Raven: Poetry**

**Starfire: Romance**

**Cyborg: Angst**

**Robin: Action/Adventure**

**Beast Boy: Now that's a secret!**


	2. What's in a Name?

"**What's in a Name?" **

**(William Shakespeare**** 1564 – 1616, "Romeo and Juliet", Act 2 scene 2)**

Cyborg was crouched over the computer feverishly clicking the mouse. Starfire walked up behind him waving her story.

"I am ready to share my story!" Starfire paused. "Cyborg, are you alright?"

"Yeah, Star. I'm just looking through all the entries on this site. When I find a Cy/Gizmo, I'm gonna flame 'em!"

"You do not like the Cy/Gizmo concept?"

"NO!"

"Oh." Starfire looked at her story and started tapping her fingers nervously. "I ..see. Well, I ah…"

Cyborg turned around and looked at her. She couldn't look at him. Realization came over him.

"No. Starfire, you didn't!"

She slowly looked up. "Um, I wanted to write something unexpected. I did not know that it would make you so disgusting."

"Disgusted!" Corrected Cyborg. "Come on, Star, you gotta change it! Beast Boy will never let me hear the end of it!" By this time, he had grasped her shoulders.

"But we are to share in a few minutes. It took me many hours to write this. I do not know what else to write about."

"Look you don't have to change the story, just change his name."

"To what?"

"I don't know! Jinx, Bumblebee, Sara what's-her-face, anything!"

"I see. Very well, I will change Gizmo's identity to someone else's."

"Thank you," he said letting go of her. "Let's just keep this between us."

"Do not worry, Friend. I shall not cause you any embarrassment."

Starfire turned away and headed for the couch.

Cyborg mumbled to himself. "I've known Star long enough to know that just ain't gonna happen."

**Later…**

The Titans sat on the sofa and looked at their stories.

"Before we start," said Beast Boy, "We should have pen names."

"Pen names? And we need pen names WHY exactly?" Raven arched an eyebrow.

"So that we don't use our real names." Replied Beast Boy.

"Except for Raven, no one else ever uses their real names." Robin said with a shrug.

Beast Boy shot up. "Don't you think it's strange that we trust each other with our lives yet we don't even know each other's real names?"

"Not really." Robin replied.

"Yeah me neither." Said Beast Boy.

"I guess there's a thin line between suspending disbelief and kicking logic to the curve," mused Cyborg.

Long awkward silence

"So how about those pen names! The reviewers gave us several suggestions. " Beast Boy looked at the list.

"Reviewers? What reviewers! What are they reviewing and what made them think that we needed pen names?" Asked Cyborg.

"Dude, you ask too many questions! Okay, there were some interesting ones but here're the ones I picked. The contributors' names are in bold:

Robin: EveryTimDickandJason (**DragonBlond**)

Beast Boy: TofuROX (**Rose**)

Raven: DarkRavenofAzarath (**Stargirl1066lkl**)

Starfire: Blaknorg (**nevermoretheraven**)

Cyborg: ScrapMetal61 (**Maraina85**)"

"Yo! What's up with my pen name?" Said Cyborg.

"Sorry, Cy, they had a really hard time making one up for you."

"I'm not too comfortable with my pen name," said Robin.

"Well, I was thinking of Slade's Nightmare (**MlzMissa**), but it's too scary for our target audience. Besides, it's not like any of them is your real name. Lighten up!"

Starfire was twirling in midair. "I love Blaknorg! It is such a fitting name for me!"

Beast Boy turned to the other three. "Dudes, don't ask."

They responded, "We weren't."

Raven finally spoke up, "Okay, we put this off long enough. Who's going to go first?"

"Let's let the girls go." Said Beast Boy.

"Sure. Starfire?" Robin motioned for her to go.

"Yes! I am ready!"

Cyborg stood up abruptly. "NO!"

The other's looked at him perplexed.

"I mean…let Raven go first," he said in a sweet voice as he sat back down.

"Uh, sure. Okay Raven. You go first."

Raven got off the couch and stood in front of them.

"In my fanfic, Starfire is an only child." Raven took a deep breath and began.

**WARNING:** The following fics you are about to read in the next few chapters are…well…Ah the heck with it! Please don't flame them too harshly (especially Starfire). After all, it's their first time.


	3. Ladies First! Rae and Star's Fic

**Ladies First: Rae & Star's Fic**

**

* * *

****From A Daughter to Her K'norfka **by** DarkRavenofAzarath**

Starfire is the only child of the King of Tamaran. What childhood trauma would drive the Tameranian Princess to leave her home world and come to live here on Earth?

_**G - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 3-5-05 - Published: 3-5-05**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Ti…Um, A little help here!**

What have I done to make you hate me this way?  
Is it what I do or is it what I say?  
Is it because you wanted lots of children, and I am your only one?  
Or is it because I am your daughter, and you wanted a son.

I wanted your protection. I needed your fatherly embrace.  
But you say you want 'masculinity's perfection'. I fail to see your case.  
You want a son to carry on our family's name. That is what you desire.  
But I would carry our people's fame, to a level so much higher.  
If only you would test me, my K'norfka, and let me prove my worth,  
I'd show you that my value exceeds that of ten sons, for I am yours by birth.

I must leave but you won't follow and here is what pains me most,  
Is that your love for me has always been hollow, but in my heart, I keep you close.  
It is a strange place that I recall. It is a planet known as Earth.  
I will settle on this strange blue ball, and there I will prove my worth.

I found him here, a kindred soul. There's a passion in his spirit.  
He tells me his dreams. I tell him mine because you simply would not hear it.  
With righteous fury he leads and fights with me; with boundless confidence, follow him I will.  
The joy of flight is my glee. To be a part of his team is my thrill.  
To you, I was a child's toy; something of which you would eventually tire,  
To my new friends we have so much joy. To them, I am the Titan Starfire!

I would most certainly like to see you, but I ask myself where and when,  
For all that I have been through, I cannot return to the same life again.  
Don't wait for your life to end when all is said and done,  
To realize that I love you and that I am you daughter, your first and only one!  
I tell you the truth, K'norfka, the healing would have begun,  
The day you accept the fact that I'm your daughter not your son!

**The End**

* * *

Raven looked down at the paper for a few seconds then slowly looked up. The others were awestruck and speechless. Raven misinterpreted their expressions and she quickly put her hood up. She struggled to contain her gray-cloaked persona, Anxiety. 

"Raven," Robin finally spoke up. "That was…"

"Truly marvelous!" Starfire finished.

"Yeah!" Added Cyborg. "Girl, I didn't know you could write like that!"

"It wasn't even that depressing!" Said Beast Boy.

"Beast Boy!" Shouted the other three.

Raven smiled slightly as she returned to her seat. Anxiety was contained and Raven regained her stoic composure. As she sat down, Beast Boy reached up and put her hood down.

"That's better," he said.

"All right, Starfire, it's your turn." Said Robin.

Before Starfire got up, she leaned over and whispered to Raven. "That was truly beautiful, Raven. Concerning my traumatic childhood, you are closer than you know."

As Starfire took her place, Cyborg crossed his arms and leaned back into the sofa. He just had a REALLY bad feeling about this.

**

* * *

****Will You be My N'wlin? **by** Blaknorg**

Two enemies will stop fighting each other and become each other's N'wiln. (Parings: Cy/Giz...um Bumblebee)

_**G - English – This one's in a class all by itself! ****- Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 3-5-05 - Published: 3-5-05**_

It was a glorious day! Cyborg was carrying a basket of glorg to his greatmother. He was attacked by his enemy Giz- I mean Bumblebee.

"Yo! It is the known enemy of the Titans, Bumblebee!"

"Ha ha ha!" Said the laughing Bumblebee, "It is I! I have come to destroy you; you bag that contains the barf!"

"Wait!" Cyborg reached into his basket and pulled out a N'wlin. "Please, accept this as a token of by desire to be your N'wlin."

"You sniffer of the pits! You jest!" said Jinx.

"We should not be fighting, Jinx" said Cyborg. "I wish for all of us to be N'wlins."

"I accept," said Bumblebee. "I will use all of my mechanical inventions to help the Titans in their fight against crime." They held hands and skipped though a field of knor'ts.

**The End**

**Author's Note:** The name Gizmo had been changed so that you will not know that this was really a Cy/Gizmo.

* * *

"Okay," said Raven. "I am officially dumbfounded." 

Cyborg had put his head in his hands.

"So, what are your thoughts?" Asked Starfire.

"Uhhhh….." The team was struggling to find the right words. Cyborg spoke up. "Star, I thought you said it took you hours to write that?"

"Most assuredly. It is difficult to write something original."

Robin tried to be tactful. "Starfire, don't you think that Cyborg was a bit…out of character?"

"Speaking of which," added BB, "who exactly WAS the other character? It sounded like Gizmo, but you kept changing the names."

"Oh no, it was not Gizmo," said Starfire. "It was definitely the barbarian Sara-Lee person that Cyborg had met." Starfire looked hurt as she realized her mistake.

Cyborg just shook his head_. At least she tried._ He thought. He stood up and took Starfire's place to get her out of the spotlight. As Starfire was about to sit down, Cyborg put a hand on her shoulder.

"You did good, Star," he smiled.

Starfire beamed and giggled.

"You really enjoyed it?"

"Actually, it was pretty decent in a jacked up sorta way."

Cyborg faced his team, looked down at his story, and cleared his throat.

* * *

**Author's Note:** In the cartoon series, a lot of Starfire's weird words are actually the names of some of the staff. So, I used N'wlin which is actually spelled Nowlin (that's 'Now' as in now and 'lin' as in violin). It was the maiden name of my mother who passed away in December of 2004. She would always say that I needed to lighten up a bit. This one's for you, Ma! You were always my N'wlin, my dear K'norfka. I have to go now; my spellchecker is giving me dirty looks! 


	4. Cy's Fic

**Cyborg's Fic**

"I wanted to pull Beast Boy's name so I could get him back for the time he switched my toothpaste with that AD Ointment™. But that's cool, I got Robin. Robin, you're like the little big brother I never had, never wanted, but got anyway! I feel your pain. This one's yours!"

**

* * *

****It Ain't Right!** by **ScrapMetal61**

A reflection on life. It just ain't right, man! (Rob/Rae) Sorry, Star, no offense!

_PG – English or some variation of it anyway! – Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 431 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 3-12-05 - Published: 3-12-05_

Watchin' your parents die is just flat up wack! He should know 'cause he saw them fall. He couldn' do nuthin either. It ain't right. It just ain't right. He grew up a master's apprentice until he got out on his own. He wanted to be different from his mentor. He didn't want to be alone. His own home, his own team. He would show the world what he could do. He was ready to grow up. His big chance. Things weren't always the best but he continued to live. His obsession, his paranoia, drove them away. They left him except one. She had a dark past like him. They concealed their true selves from the world. They understood each other. She saw his dark secrets. She let him into her mind. Her mother was taken by a demon. It just ain't right.

They faced the world together. Bring it on, yo! How many lonely nights went by? Jus' those two against the world. He wanted to kiss her, but one kiss could destroy the world. Her emotions could cause It to get stronger. That's messed up! He took his chances. At least he could die happy. One brush of her lips wasn't enough. He tried again. She responded. Aw yeah! Sumthin's goin' right! More pressure. They embraced. She felt the darkness rising. It was lurkin' inside her all the time. She tried to keep It under control, but It got stronger. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to live being enslaved to It. He wanted to help her. Who else could or would? He held on to her. She wanted to be with him. But, she pushed him away. Soon, she left too. It was for their own good. Alone again.

Something's missin' in his life. To live and die a bitter ol' man. That ain't gonna happen! Not to him. He wanted another chance. He wanted his team back. He wanted his soulmate back. He went out to find her. He searched. He looked. He didn't find them or her. They jus' didn't want to be found.

So what's up? Nuthin' really. Jus' a bitter spikey-haired young man angry at the world. He found himself another place. He destroyed his childhood uniform. He would make another. He would use a different name. Life ain't fair sometimes. He stood overlooking his city. Him against them. One lone vigilante, just like his mentor. His worst fear has happened. Here he stands…alone. What a rotten life! He will live alone, die alone. What a wretched life! It ain't right. It just ain't!

The End

* * *

Robin and Raven sat dreadfully still. Neither could look at the other. Cyborg's story had really affected Robin. It wasn't because he had been paired up with Raven, but that he really was afraid of ending up like Bruce Wayne. Robin never forgot Starfire's description of him in a possible future. Free…and alone. He tried to shake it off. Beast Boy finally broke the tension. 

"Dude! Sweet! And here I thought you were going to do sci-fi!"

"I was. But I wanted to do what wasn't expected of me."

Raven and Robin were trying to act casual. She spoke up. "Um, it was dark and depressing. Ieee, liked it."

"Uh, yeah," said Robin.

"I thoroughly enjoyed your story!"

"You did, Star?"

"Indeed, Cyborg. Your paring was more believable than mine. I have much to learn about the fiction of the fandom."

Cyborg smiled and sat down.

"**You've got mail**!"

The Titans turned and faced the computer.

Beast Boy jumped up and ran to it. "Alright, reviews!"

Robin was perplexed. "Beast Boy how did…never mind! What did they say?"

"Most of them loved Starfire's fic!"

Cyborg sunk into the sofa. _I'm never gonna live this down!_

"**Ultimate R-Man** thought Raven was more of a free verse writer." Beast Boy turned to Raven. "I think your rhyming kinda threw him off! I'm assuming it's a 'him'. I mean…the R-Man thing…anyway! **CastellGanAwen** said that Sara-Lee is a brand of ham, Starfire."

"I thought it was cheesecake," Robin wondered.

_sings 'Nobody does it like Sara-Lee'_

"A couple of people like **sillymail** and **Maraina85** were apologizing. Something about a losing a mother. Well, thanks anyway guys. We're cool! We've learned to live and laugh!"

Cyborg blurted out. "Wait a minute! Wasn't **Maraina85** the one that gave me that pen name?"

"Yep!"

"Just wait till I…"

"Dude, hold up! She's a member. You can look her up later."

"Okay, Beast Boy, do a couple more and then it's my turn." Robin had already gotten up and was facing everyone.

"Ummm, oh here's one! **Ersatz** thinks Starfire might be the next Virginia Wolfe!"

"Please, I am confused. Is Ersatz a male or female?"

"You got me, Star! It's hard to tell with many of them sometimes. According to the bio, this person is Welsh. Sweet! People like **renayumi**, **kariakanna**, **Rose**, **Terra Logan**, **eventisespirit **and **Invisigirl **said 'lol' in some form or another."

"What does 'lol' stand for?" Cyborg scratched his head in confusion.

"Dude, you obviously don't know anything about internet lingo. It means lap of luxury!"

"I don't think so." Raven crossed her arms.

"Whatever it means, it sounds like a good thing." Said Cyborg.

"This has gone on long enough," said Raven.

The Titans turned back around to face Robin. "Robin, go!"

Robin was taken back as Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy let out a round of laughter. Even Raven let out a giggle.

"Sorry, man," said Cyborg," We've been waiting to do that for a long time now!"

**Next up!** Faster than a flaming review! More powerful than a Microsoft Word spellchecker! Able to leap gaping plot holes in a single paragraph! It's…Robin and Beast Boy's fanfic! Yes, friends, be amazed at BB's complete lack of ability to make a subject and a verb agree! Stand in awe as the most heinous crimes are committed against the English language! Tempers will flare, expectations will be lowered, and **virtgrad** will quit writing fanfics at 3:00 in the morning and work on her doctoral dissertation!

Seriously folks, it won't be THAT bad. Quite frankly, it won't be THAT good either. If the Lord wills, see ya in a week! God bless!


	5. Last but not Least: BB's Fic

**CHAPTER REMOVED**

Don't worry. Robin's fic is being rewritten. Beast Boy's fic hasn't changed.


	6. Rewrite: Robin and BB's Fic

**Rewrite: Robin and Beast Boy's fic **

Actually, Beast Boy's fic didn't change much. I just changed his attitude toward it. Before, I implied that he really felt that way about Raven. Now, he's just writing it as a fan service and not necessarily because he feels that way himself. I'll leave the interpretation up to the reader. By the way, I am not a BB/Rae fan myself but those two really are fun to write about!

* * *

**My Life as a Teenage Robin **by** EveryTimDickandJason**

My name is Beast Boy. I have done idiotic things. To my teammates, I am the resident clown. Whether I am hurling oil-filled balloons at Starfire or gluing the game controller to Raven's hands, I have committed many pranks against those I have called friends. My name is Beast Boy. I have done idiotic things. When will I ever learn?

**_G – English– _****_Drama _****_- Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 (Yep, it's the longest one yet!) - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-03-05 - Published: 4-03-05_**

**I. The Setup**

"Beast Boy, what are you doing?"

"Hey, Robin! I was watching some violence on TV when this basketball game broke out!"

"Bad sportsmanship is not entertaining!"

"Dude, lighten up for once!"

"Why don't YOU start taking things more seriously for once?"

"Hey! I have an image to protect."

"Image? You mean like the time you tried to impress those girls at the pizza place by slipping and landing face first on top of their pizza? THAT image?"

He was really starting to irritate me! I wanted to say something, but the alarm went off.

"Some other time." He said. "I'll handle this one!"

"I'm stating to see why Cyborg is always on Robin's case." I started flipping through the channels. Raven had been sitting on the couch the whole time reading another one of her books. She finally looked up.

"Never judge anyone until you walk a mile in his moccasins."

"Come again?"

"It's a Native American adage. Why don't I just show you what I mean!"

She put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, what are you…" Everything went black.

**II. Welcome to my World**

"Son, are you okay?"

"He'll be fine, hon. Probably just nervous."

Those voices. My…parents? I woke up in a circus. The people standing over me were dressed up as acrobats.

"Son! What happened!"

"I don't know. Who are you?" They looked back at me with a hurt expression.

"Maybe you'd better sit this performance out, sweetie." The woman put a hand on my head. "Seems normal."

"Come on, hon. We're up next. Watch closely, Son. This will be your legacy someday!"

They climbed the climbed the tall ladder and took hold of the swing.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Our star attractions…The Flying Logans!"

The sound of applause resounded in the tent. I watched them perform and forgot about the situation. I gotta admit, they were really good! About 5 minutes into the performance, I noticed something was wrong. It was too late! The wire snapped and the two people fell. Screams and gasps filled the tent. Then, it was silent. Everything went black again.

_Time passes_

"How's that arm?"

"Fine," I said. I was lying, but I didn't want him to know. I got back up and continued our sparring session. I could never beat him, but I was determined to win!

It was weird. After the accident, I was taken in by a wealthy business man who led a double life as a crime fighter. I remember taking an oath to help him fight and protect the innocent. Imagine my surprise when he gave me my costume. Which reminds me…

"Hey, uh can we talk about my costume for a minute?"

The older man stopped charging and crossed his arms.

"What about it?"

"Well…look at me! I'm a green kid wearing a green pair of Speedos! Do you have any idea how funky this makes me look? I hate having my bare legs always showing! And don't get me started on these elf shoes!"

"Hmmm." The older man looked at me and rubbed his chin. "I see your point. It is…unsettling. Fine. You can change your uniform. Until then, keep up your guard!" He took my arm (the one that was hurt) and tossed me across the room.

I landed on my backside. The pain was unbearable, but I was determined not to let on. I just got back up to my feet and said between clenched teeth, "One day, old man! One day!"

It went on like that for years. We were a team; Batman and Beast Boy. We were the dynamic duo. Contrary to what many people think, we didn't always arrive in the nick of time. How many times did we arrive one second too late? How many people died in my arms? Their eyes accused me! I felt like I could have done more! I wanted to try different things, but he held me back. He always did! I was just a sidekick living in the shadow of greatness. I loved him like my own father, but I felt like I'm missing something.

It happened one night when we were in another sparring session. We were in costume. I was focused. The beating flowed in one direction; from him to me. I kept getting knocked down. I kept getting up. I lunged, he dodged. With one final effort, I put everything I had into one punch. It worked! I hit him square on the jaw. The impact made him spin around.

"Not bad, Beast Boy, but it's time to leave this place."

The voice sounded feminine, but it was low and drab. When he turned around, I realized that the cloak had gone from black to blue. The mask was now a hood. The figure was clearly that of a girl.

"Let's go, Beast Boy." She held out her hand.

"I know you. You sent me here didn't you?"

She nodded and I took her hand.

**III. Lessons learned? **

"Raven?" I was lying on the couch. "What just…How long was I out?"

"Only a few minutes."

"So, I guess that was supposed to teach me a lesson, huh?"

"One can hope. Did you learn anything?"

"I learned that Robin stood up for himself by refusing to wear elf shoes! Now that's what I call victory over da feet. Get it?"

"Ugh! I give up! Beast Boy, you're hopeless!"

As Raven walked out, Robin walked in.

"How'd it go, Robin?"

"Fine."

"I was wondering if you're not too tired, we could do some sparring!"

Robin raised an eyebrow.

"You want to spar? Why?"

" 'Cause I just walked a mile in your moccasins!"

"Huh?"

"Try not to think too hard about it. Ready?"

Robin smirked. "Alright, let's go!"

My name is Beast Boy. I have done idiotic things. To my teammates, I am the resident clown. I have committed many pranks. I have done idiotic things and I have no regrets!

**The End**

* * *

Raven turned to Beast Boy. "I know I'm going to regret asking, but did you learn ANYTHING from that story?" 

Beast Boy thought for a moment. "Yeah, I did. I mean Robin actually wore green Speedos and matching elf shoes? Robin, dude, no wonder you're always so serious! That HAD to be traumatic. It'd certainly take away MY sense of humor! The bad guys must have laughed themselves into a coma!"

Robin fumed but refused to comment.

Cyborg tried to defuse the tension. "Nice job, Robin. Writing about BB must not have been easy."

"You have no idea," he said between clenched teeth.

"It was wonderful! Our Robin has revealed much about himself in his story. It was such a colorful portrayal of a tragic past through the eyes of Beast Boy! Well done!"

"Thanks, Starfire." He sat down.

"Well, it's your turn now, dude." Cyborg shoved Beast Boy off the couch.

"My fic is a poem. It's for all the BB/Rae fans! I love you guys!"

Raven tried to phase through the sofa, but Cyborg reached out and grabbed her cloak.

"Oh no you don't!" He pulled her back up. "If I have to sit though this, so do you!"

Raven huffed and sank bank onto the sofa.

"Hey, I felt like I've read this already. You ever had one of those dijon vu feelings?"

"It's 'déjà vu', Beast Boy," Robin replied dryly.

"All right everyone," Cyborg settled into the couch. "Shields up!"

* * *

**The Raven: Reloaded! **by **TofuROX**

Dudes, this is totally my first fic! It's my version of Edgar Allan Poe's poem. It's a lot better than it sounds. Please R&R. (COMPLETE). Raven Roolz! 'lap of luxury'

**_G – English– _****_Poetry _****_- Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-03-05 - Published: 3-19-05_**

**Disclaimer: No one owns me!**

Once in life I had a haven, in it was a girl called Raven,  
She's a creepy one, and can be such a bore.  
A sad long journey she is taking, as darkness stirs and starts a 'waking,  
So many emotions suppressed and aching; aching to the very core.  
"Are we friends?" I must implore?  
"Yes, only friends and nothing more?"

She says nothing but leaves me staring. Her eyes look back at me just glaring.  
Who could even like this paring? Is a BB/Rae that much a chore?  
Through many means I've tried beguiling, to make her laugh and get her smiling.  
She doesn't laugh but is compiling; compiling my jokes in her very core,  
She thinks I'm funny 'cause I saw before,  
Pink Happy Raven who's in Nevermore.

She and Starfire got close after body swapping. Together they raid the mall of shopping.  
Here's a thought that gets my eyes popping; Raven at a girly store?  
Yet, somehow she is still enduring! Her patience with us is so assuring.  
Still there is much maturing; maturing as we all build rapport.  
What I want is to explore,  
If she and I have something more!

Could she go through life not caring? Always closed and never sharing?  
Scheming, dreaming I long to know what's in store.  
Excitedly my heart's fast beating. She hugged me which was quick and fleeting.  
If I could have that moment once more,  
I'd savor it forevermore.

What lies beyond the mirror's border? Is it chaos and disorder?  
What secrets lie behind her mind's trap door?  
Why is it that I'm complaining, it's her emotions she is retaining.  
For our sakes she is restraining; restraining all and something more.  
Is Love there, but cannot soar?  
It's a burning question I can't ignore.

For now, I'll be cool and non-demanding, Till we reach an understanding.  
I'll be her friend, her fellow Titan, and more.  
Slade's last encounter left Raven shaking. Seeing her left my heart breaking.  
Normally strong but now she's quaking; quaking as she waits to settle the score.  
I know she'll fight and win the war;  
Within her soul, within her core.

Am I in love or is this bad timing? Dudes, I'm sick of all this rhyming!  
It takes a lot of concentrating, and it's getting nauseating.  
I close this poem with my eyes 'a burning. I'm hungry and my stomach's churning!  
As I sit here near the clock, I'm coming down with writer's block!  
I know it's off topic but I must say, This IS my fanfic anyway!  
This was for all the BB/Rae fans from shore to shore!  
I'll stop now, and write no more.

**The End**

* * *

"Ta da!" Beast Boy sported a big goofy grin. 

"Yo! That was pretty decent."

Beast Boy narrowed his eyes. "You mean in a jacked up sort of way?"

"No, I mean it! Pretty clever, man!"

"I didn't know you had it in you!" Robin added. "I was expecting something way out of left field. I find it interesting that you don't know 'déjà vu' means but you can write so eloquently."

"I had my trusty rhyming dictionary with me! What did you think, Raven? I know that _The Raven_ is your favorite poem. I thought I'd give it a love twist for our fans!"

Everyone was silent as they waited for Raven's comment. She took a deep breath.

"I may not like the content, but I did enjoy your poem. I can appreciate it for its literary value. There's more to you than just comic relief and there's more to me than just being dark and creepy. I think that this fanfic idea was a good exercise for me. My poem for Starfire was about a strained relationship, yet there was hope. I have learned to look beyond Slade's dismal prophesy and see the hope that lies beyond; a life lived free from my father. It is a dark path that I am taking, but I'll relieve my inner aching. I will fight and win this war; within my soul, within my core. Then things will differ from before, and I'll be free forevermore."

Raven closed her eyes for a second.

There was a sparkle in Beast Boy's eyes. "Sweet!"

"Not bad guys!" Called out a voice.

The Titans turned around and saw a crowd of people.

"Who are you and how did you get in here!"

"The author sent us here. The name's **Green-Husky**! I'm the 100th reviewer!" **Green-Husky** pointed to the rest of the people. "We are your faithful readers and we have a few things to say!"

**To be Concluded…**

The idea for Robin's fic came to me when I was tossing and turning with a high fever. Let's hear it for upper respiratory infection induced fever dreams! HIP HIP HOORAY!


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